The Paradox of Hedonism

“Every year I play more than 60 games. Either you stop for 2–3 months [to avoid injury], or learn to live with the pain … I can endure the pain because I think there’s something stronger. Maybe if I didn’t feel the pain I wouldn’t be as good as I am.” — Cristiano Ronaldo

Formally, hedonism is the “pursuit of pleasure” and it necessarily relies on external stimulus. There are two dimensions of hedonism: the intensity of the infliction and the danger of the vice.

For instance, some enjoy occasionally eating carbs (low intensity, low danger) and others are chronic gamblers (high intensity, high danger). Regardless of whether it’s carbs or chocolate, gambling or Netflix, these pursuits all share the same three phases.

First, there is a reliant on something external. Second, a tolerance is built to this item or activity, so that more is needed than before. Then, suddenly, the hedonists find themselves on a treadmill with its speed increasing. No matter what they attempt, they cannot get off.

This happens because a hedonist has what they believe they desire.

Most hedonists are well-intentioned in their pursuits, they want to maximize pleasure and think they’re doing a good job of it. And yet, there’s still a void. In this case, they chase more “happiness”.

But is happiness something we should strive for? Can happiness fill one’s heart?

Is happiness something we should strive for? Can happiness fill one’s heart?

Truth be told, I have yet to meet a single hedonist who was happy or even content. Most are disorderly: bouncing from one vice to another, or one remedy after another to cure a problem caused by a previous vice.

The worst are delusional. They dig deeper into hedonism in an attempt to find the answers to their problems. I call this delusional because no single object or activity or event can bring prolonged contentedness. It’s simply not how humans are wired.

We have the same minds as our prehistoric ancestors but we live in a unique, artificial world.

Biological triggers — for eating, drinking, sleeping, and more — were important for survival when there was scarcity, but now they have a debilitating effect in our world of abundance.

In my experience, only work brings this highest sense of accomplishment.

And when I say “work”, I do not mean a full-time job. Rather, real work is found in dedication to an objective, like the betterment of one’s self or devotion to a craft.

Throughout our lives, we are each compelled towards a certain vocation. Whatever that is, it has chosen us as much as we have chosen it. Indeed, we are a product of an environment that we did not chose and yet we are still faced with the responsibility to act.

(Said differently, at our core, we are a certain way. And no amount of asking “Why?” will change that.)

The rare few pursue their vocations without restraint and along the way face a host of personal, professional, physical, and psychological challenges. We can call these the gifted ones, whose lives are difficult but fulfilling.

Unfortunately, most are lost at sea — wandering aimlessly through life, tossed from side to side by the waves of life. So lost are these individuals that they no longer know which direction leads them to shore.

We all need challenges to rise above.

In a society that has become increasingly comfortable and safe, we even resort to creating our own artificial challenges. It is no accident that one of the oldest sporting traditions, the Olympic games, was started in ancient Greece.

This tension between incredible work and momentary reward is innately human. Indeed, the reward in and of itself does not matter to us. The journey, not the starting or ending point, is what makes us human.

Moreover, those who pursue hedonism numb their senses in two ways: they make rewards seem less valuable than they are while also making work seem more laborious than it truly is.

As humans, we can enjoy the heat of a spa only against cold air. We can enjoy lifting a trophy only after the agonizing pain of a season. We can enjoy rest only after a full day, and death only after a full life.

“The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.” — Albert Camus